redWRITER24

Temescal Canyon

2012-02-15T16:48:00.000-08:00

It's a little over ten miles from my apartment, which makes it about a 45 minute drive (in mild traffic). Good thing I got up at the butt crack of dawn... to hike in the rain. Let me be more specific, it was merely a mild pain-in-the-ass down pour. Enough to be irritating, but not enough to keep me indoors. And since I'd fought traffic, by God I was going to do some hiking.

The only people crazy enough to be out in this weather were a few die hard speed walkers, a grandmother jogger and a film crew at the park entrance. Not sure what they were prepping to film since most of the crew was hunkered under a big tent warming their hands with a giant stage light.

So this is the trail...

I did do some brighting and contrasting...

To add a little more light to the scenes...

So you don't feel as creeped out as I did hunched under a canopy of snarled creeper trees. I will continue to refer to them as creeper trees since they grabbed, pinched and swiped at me all the way up the hill.

Oh look, the sun's out over in Malibu.

This is a picture of a log. A half a second earlier it would have been a picture of a log and a bunny. Quick little devils. But not quick enough judging from all the coyote scat.

I feel this trail needs a sign. To the right is Temescal Canyon Trail. To the left is where they hide the dead bodies.

And this was my destination. SKULL ROCK.
See it? No. Wait for it...
Wait for it...

There it is!

I had to crawl up around the rocks and through a gaggle of creeper trees to find this angle that looked kinda like a skull.

And as I was almost back to the blazer, the sun came out. Typical.

This is the view of LA... through the smog...

Which refused to be suppressed by a little rain. Typical.

This was hike one of what I hope will be an on-going series where I explore the 'hidden gem of wilderness' around LA. My inspiration, Robert Stones 135 Great Day hikes around Los Angeles. It was my Amazon.com splurge for the month.

Until next time...

Bryce Canyon

2012-02-01T15:23:00.000-08:00

A Cossairt shortcut: The route Bryan and I took in 2006. We woke up at the butt crack of dawn and gunned my little sister's Neon up an icy canyon trail with hair pin turns and no guard rails. We topped out on a butte, surrounded by four feet of snow. I'm not sure this was a time saving route as the map suggested, but it was an adventure. Along the way we knocked/scraped/ripped a few unwanted plastic undercarriage covers off my sister's car and not only increased her aerodynamics but also her gas milage. You're welcome, Bean.

The adventure crew in 2010

The pictures that follow are a combination of two different trips to Bryce Canyon, five years apart, shot with three different cameras by three different Cossairts. I'm not sure which pictures are mine or theirs, so I'm just going to say enjoy our pictures...

Moments before we 'spidermaned' through a ice crevice and zig-zagged up a hill crowded with unsure footed foreigners getting a late start into the canyon.

If you are interested in visiting the park, check out http://www.nps.gov/brca/index.htm for more information.

My Trip to the DMV

2012-01-27T11:30:00.000-08:00

Most people will tell you that three of life’s most unpleasant experiences are going to the dentist, Christmas shopping and renewing their driver’s license. They’re painful, time consuming, soul-sucking ventures everyone must endure. However, these miseries give us something to commiserate about and bring us closer as a society… Which may be one of the reasons I’ve always felt like an outsider.

I love going to the dentist, I do most of my Christmas shopping on-line to avoid the chaos and whenever I’ve needed a new/updated license back home, I’d walk right up to the DMV counter, fill out a form or snap a new photo and be out in 15 minutes.

That was before I moved to LA…

When I exclaimed I was getting my California license, most people cringed. Some told me to lie and find a way to keep my Idaho DL. And everyone advised me to make an appointment because the lines are horrendous. So I logged onto the California DMV site and made an appointment.

Wednesday

@ 10:30

In ~~Los Angeles~~ Hell…

* * * * * * *

You know those old depression era photos of Americans standing outside in the cold waiting to be served a bowl of gruel? That’s what it looked like outside the DMV. A sea of hopeless faces (at least 50+) slouching in a line that angled out the door and stretched around the corner. One inattentive mother brought her unruly kids, one guy in the middle of the pack complained that his iPod was ‘low on juicy juice’, but most just stared expressionlessly off in the distance or at the ground.

Now, there are two different carpets leading into the DMV building. On the right was a soiled stretch of fabric that had a trail worn through to the concrete. That’s the line everyone was standing in. And on the left, cordoned off by shiny brass stanchions, was a pristine red carpet. The appointment line.

I strolled up the red carpet, avoiding people’s glares and stopped at the receptionist’s desk. I was the only one in line. Nice, just like home. And then I heard the announcement.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we’re sorry to inform you that our systems are down. But I’ve been told they’ll be back up in 15 minutes…”

That’s not good…

I’ve learned that when you have to deal with an unruly crowd, you announce, “It’ll only be 15 more minutes.” Even if you know it’s going to take an hour and a half, tell them 15 minutes. It’s a manageable number. People don’t mind waiting 15 minutes. Even if you tell them that three or four times in an hour, most will rationalize it like, “oh, it’s just 15 minutes, I can do that…” Think about the next time someone tells you it’s only going to be another 15 minutes. You might want to find a comfy chair, but I digress…

Thirty-five minutes later, an expressionless woman motioned me forward, asked for my name, checked her call sheet and then handed me a clipboard. Her directions were curt. She never did look me in the eyes. “Fill this form out. Sit over there. Your number is F-3. Next.”

I sat on the corner of a semi-soiled plastic chair in the middle of the crowded room and filled out my form. When F-3 flashed on the screen I stepped up to the counter and handed my clipboard to a balding man with small black eyes. His pale skin and large lips made him look almost reptilian. He scanned my information and then asked me what time had I signed up to take my driver’s test.

“What do you mean?”

“A. Driver’s. Test. You. Need. To. Take. One.”

“I was told all I have to do was take the written test.”

“Nope. You need to take a driver’s test.”

“Are you sure?”
“If you don’t we can’t issue you a license.”

“You’re serious? I need to take a physical driver’s test. Why?”

“To prove you can operate a motor vehicle.”

“Okay…” I said, “but I can’t do that today.”

“Then we can’t issue you a license.”

“Hmm, can I at least take the tests?”

He frowned.

“Stand over there.”

He thrust his hand in a northerly direction.

When I got to the testing area, a Clerk held up her finger and signaled for me to wait a minute. Okay, no problem, I was willing to wait a minute… that is until I caught snippets of her conversation.

“Yes, later this afternoon… I can get away… because I can’t wait any longer… I need to see him…”

Great. Just my luck I get stuck with the woman scheduling some office rendezvous. I waved to let her know I was ready to take my test. She glared, turned her shoulder and continued her conversation.

“How much will that cost?

Excuse me?

“Will it hurt?”

What the—

“Does my insurance cover it?”

What kind of policy do you have!

By now there were two other people standing in line, a meek woman who kept her eyes on the floor and an elderly man who paced back and forth grumbling about bunions or Funyuns. It’s hard to understand someone speaking through a handlebar mustache.

“Uh, miss,” I interjected, “I’d like to—“

“Just a minute! Can’t you see I’m on the phone?”

Yes, I can see you’re on your personal cell phone making a bizarrely personal call and I’d like you to stop before I get personally reacquainted with my breakfast.

“Okay, set it for 2,” she said. “And make sure it’s with the good-looking dentist, not that other one. You know, the other one. Yeah him. NO! Not with him!”

She clicked her phone closed, leveled her gaze at me (this is going to become an ongoing theme). I passed her my information. She read it with a scowl and then growled, “Here.” She flung two long test forms at me and swung her head like a disgruntled buffalo towards the testing booths.

Time to focus and rock my driver’s and my motorcycle test.

I returned to the main desk to find a fresh-faced gentleman sitting in the Clerk’s seat. Guess her toothache was too painful… He glided through my tests with his red pen. I missed one on the motorcycle test, and two on the driver’s test. You can ride in the back of a truck with a couch as long as it has proper seatbelts… Who the hell owns a couch with seatbelts?

The pleasant gentleman gave me a new set of forms and directed me to the doors. It was time to get my car inspected.

Oh boy…

Now, the blazer isn’t a POS, but she’s well past her prime. I could have upgraded multiple times, but I refuse to walk away when she’s been with me through thick and thin. From the crazy girlfriends and the sane ones. I don’t care if your leather seats inflate on corners, I’ll stick by my girl.

Technically this has been my longest relationship. Eight years. We know each other’s little quirks, and have long accepted each other’s shortcomings and imperfections. I no longer mash her gas pedal to the floor and she no longer tries to send me through the windshield when her brakes get damp. She tolerates my parallel parking and I’ve learned to utilize the extra time she needs to warm up on those cold mornings by writing in my notebook. This May will be nine years... So let’s just get through this check up and see if we can make it to ten.

I pulled right up to the DMV inspection center – which is just a covered area with a yellow line showing you where to stop. I passed a line of other cars and disgruntled drivers. The non-appointment line… There were two female DMV Attendants standing on the curb looking at clipboards. Not really sure what the protocol was, I rolled down my windows and asked the nearest woman if I needed to do anything. She assured me that someone would be with me in 15 minutes. Great. I leaned the seat back, folded my hands behind my head and closed my eyes.

Again, I heard snippets of their conversation. They were wondering who owned the new Dodge Charger in company parking lot. Did somebody get a raise and that’s his or her new car? Did someone borrow their lover’s car? Who could it be? Was it two of their married coworkers? Did their spouses know?

A pudgy DMV man burst through the side door, out of breath. “It’s Keisha’s,” he wheezed. “She got in a fender bender this weekend, and that’s the rental they gave her until her car is fixed.”

The two Attendant’s huffed. Obviously this was not the banal answer they were hoping for.

“She was with someone. And it wasn’t her husband.”

The two Attendants perked up.

Great. Another 15 minutes…

They whispered amongst themselves a few more minutes before a surly man with mustard around the rim of his lips waddled through their huddle and sidled up to my window.

“Hi.”

He held out his hand.

“Paper work.”

I passed him what I had.

“I don’t need this. Or this. Or this. Why’d you hand me the whole stack when all I need is this?”

“Well, you said—“

“Pop the hood,” he ordered.

I did.

He waddled around to the front and grumbled as he tried to release the hood. I opened the door—

“Stay in your car, sir.”

“You have to—

“Stay in the car!”

Okay. But if you let me out I could show you that you need to pull down and to the right first before the hood will pop up. Instead he just shook and tugged. Had I closed my eyes, I would have thought I was on a turbulent plane ride.

One last hefty tug and the hood popped up. Thank goodness. He poked around for a while and then slammed it closed. He scouted the Blazer’s parameter and seemed quite interested in my windshield wipers. Finally he scribbled his initials at the bottom of my copy and ordered me back inside.

I returned to the front desk. A new Attendant was monitoring the line so I smiled. She just glared at me.

“Paper work.”

I handed what I had over. She stapled a new paper to the top left corner. “Sit over there. Your number is F-18.”

So here’s where I must admit that my stay in hell could have been shorter if I’d been more prepared. Since I hadn’t returned to Idaho since October of 2010, I had not renewed my driver’s license. I did get an extension – a laminated blue card that said I was good to drive until April 2012 – from the home office. So when I went home for my brother’s wedding in October I snapped a new photo and the nice DMV lady said I’d get my new license in a week. So the week I was to get my California license I called to see where my new Idaho license was. They said it was sitting in the back. Why? Because the Idaho DMV can’t mail a renewed license to an out of state address. So it had been sitting on someone’s desk for over a week. After a brief plea they agreed to ship it to LA. But it did not arrive in time for my DMV visit. Well, I decided to take my chances with my expired license and my extension card.

Wrong move Red Writer, wrong move.

“So this is the trouble case?”

The other attendant eyed me with disgust and nodded.

Two hours had passed since I reentered the building. I’d stood at two different windows and talked to four different attendants, each one passing me to the next like a hot potato (no Idaho pun intended) because no one seemed to know what to do with a 'trouble case.' And for your information, just because you turn your back, that doesn’t mean I can't hear you call me a ‘trouble case,’ especially when your inside voice is a deep baritone... Lady.

“I know who will know what to do,” said one Attendant with a smirk.

Oh no…

I returned to the counter of the beady-eyed man. His scowl had deepened since we last crossed paths that morning. Probably because he wasn’t happy to inherit the ‘trouble case.’

“Paper work.”

He looked it over.

“We can’t issue you a license.”

So I’ve been told. “Okay.” I replied. “What can you do?”

“Me?” I’m pretty sure I saw the corners of his lips flicker. It had the makings of a sinister grin. “Not much. But I think I have a good solution for you.”

He took his time going through the motions, making sure I felt as uncomfortable as possible. He set me up with an appointment and told me I need to have all my ducks in a row when I showed up.

I left his counter with a stack of papers thicker than a college textbook – but it cost about the same. I got my plates, but could not put them on. I got a temporary permit that stated I was only allowed to ride with someone 21 years or older and who was a permanent California resident. He took great pride in saying the word ride. He even said it twice, I guess so I didn’t confuse it with drive. And then he told me I should call someone to come pick me up and retrieve the Blazer, because any vehicle left over night would get towed. He let the word towed hang in the air and I’m pretty sure I caught another flicker of a sneer.

I thanked him for my paperwork and turned to leave.

“And when you come back you’ll have to take a driver’s test.”

Right. Dig that dagger in a bit more.

I exited the DMV with the same look as those poor saps still in line.

However, the silver lining was I still had my potato state plates on and my Idaho driver’s license.

And guess what came in the mail that afternoon…

Next Monday, I drove to the DMV running through my driver’s training – checking mirrors, signaling a 100 feet before a turn, shoulder check, change lanes, stop left-right-left, go, yield to the right, etc…

I parked, said a quick prayer and followed the red carpet inside. I took my number and I’m pretty sure I sat on the corner of the same semi-soiled plastic chair. F-7 flashed on the screen and I walked up to the counter. The seat was empty. Hmm…

And then he returned – the beady black-eyed man with a shiny chrome dome.

He settled into his chair and stereotypically adjusted his pen collection and straightened his keyboard, then turned to me… and smiled.

“Good morning. Can I see your paper work?”

His friendly demeanor caught me off guard. Like if you came face to face with a rattlesnake and all of a sudden it started rubbing against your leg wanting it’s head stroked. I said nothing and passed him my paperwork. He scanned it, quickly.

“Everything looks to be in order.”

He took my fingerprint, signed a few print outs and handed me a temporary paper driver’s license for California.

“Your card should arrive in the mail by the end of the week. Have a nice day.”

“So…” I said, hesitantly, “I don’t have to take a driver’s test?”

“No. Who told you that?”

“Nobody…”

I smiled, thanked him for his time and I made a beeline for the door. Freedom!

Winter Doodles

2012-01-07T08:53:00.000-08:00

* * * * * * * * * *

Marina Del Rey – LA’s Riviera

2012-01-04T11:19:00.000-08:00

The day started off bleak. Not only did I get a late start, but the marine layer (heavy fog) looked to be settling in for good. So I stopped by the Visitor Center, grabbed a map and planned to head home. I’d hit the Marina another day, when the sun was out. As I pocketed the map, the attendant handed me a post card. “In case none of yours turn out,” she said, “You’ll have one good photo.”

Thanks Information Lady. I stuffed the card into my backpack, cinched up the straps and headed out into the mist… to take some crappy photos.

And as luck would have it, the sun came out.

(Standing downwind of this thing, I'm reminded of why I loath sea lions. And then of course it opened it's mouth. What a horrid sound! The next time you feel the urge to call out, keep it to yourself you wretched sea mutt)

(Is there a rule that says every harbor must have at least one pirate? Because there should be)

(I'm thinking he's a Magnum P.I. fan too)

(somebody's living large -- check out the chopper on the back deck)

What's in a name?

You can tell a lot about a person by what they name their ship. The harbor was full of vessels dedicated to women -- whether it was the one that got away, or the one that stayed, only the christener knows. The most common beauty was Ariel. There were the sequels, Blessed II, Viking Too, R&R 2, which makes me wonder what befell the originals. There were the fish lovers, Marlin, Black Fin, Great White, the wanderers, Nomad, Gypsy, the high and mighty, Crème de la Crème, the drinkers, Mojito, Tequila, the need for speeders, Neck Sprain, Bullet, the relaxers, Chill Pill, Pain Killer, No Problems, the suck ups, Love you, Mom, the song lovers, Lost Shaker of Salt, Free Bird, Miss American Pie, Bad Moon Rising, Hang on Sloopy, Can’t Touch This (granted this could fall under the need for speed category, but I’m thinking he’s a closet MC Hammer fan), the uninhibited, Foolish Behavior, the myth hounds, Pegasus, Valkyrie, Unicorn, the creative thinkers Miss Demeanor, Maine Squeeze, Common Cents, So Knot Us, Sail Asylum, the creative drinkers, Aqualoic, Scotts ‘n’ Water, Ship Faced and the Clint Eastwood fans, Make my Day.

However, the best name I found goes to--

Yeah, I won't be riding with him anytime soon... or her. Well, maybe her.

According to the brochure, this is 'the perfect place to stay and play.' If you're not into the boat scene, there are a few parks, marina-side shopping, waterways for bird watching, plus paths to the beach and the Venice canals. If you're in the mood for fine dining, the locals recommend Killer Shrimp and Tony P's Dockside Grill. One has excellent seafood, the other has hulking steaks and big screens. I'll check them out and let you know.

So that was my adventure of the week. Until next time...

Passion in life

2011-12-30T14:03:00.000-08:00

The Hair Dresser

2011-12-29T08:54:00.000-08:00

I was in the middle of the amazing final chapter of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, when there came a knock on my door -- It’s not actually a door, it’s more of a grated metal monstrosity that protects the sliding glass doors, but for this story, we'll call it a door.

A blond woman with a stout figure and European accent squeezed her fingers though the grates in my metal screen and whispered, “Matt?” Her tone was hopeful and her voice softer when she repeated, “Matt is that you?” (His name has been changed to protect his true identity)

I emerged from the shadows of my dark apartment/command center and as the light touched my face she realized – quite to her horror judging by the way her eyebrows rose and her lips pursed together – that I was, of course, not Matt.

“Sorry.” I replied, “There’s no one here by that name.”

“Oh,” she said, disappointed. “I’m looking for Matt, the hair dresser.”

Her eyes drifted to the fiery red mushroom cloud of hair a top my head and that seemed to reassure her that I was not the hair dresser she was looking for. So instead she asked if Matt was my roommate

“No,” I assured her, “There’s not enough room in this apartment for me to have a mouse as a roommate.”

She smiled and we proceeded to have a California moment. You know those moments in the movies when two strangers meet at a bar or a park or on a plane and then proceed to tell each other their entire life stories. Yeah, with one exception -- this California moment was a little one sided. She regaled me with stories of a middle-aged man with rolling blond hair who could wield scissors like Picasso wielded a brush. Matt the hair dresser. He was the best West Hollywood had ever known! The maestro had been cutting her hair for five years, giving her a look that Hollywood stars paid millions for. Then one day, she went for a trim and he had vanished. No notice, no call, even his drawer was still full of combs and trimmers. His co-workers had no idea where he had gone. That was over five months ago. Fearing the worst, she hired PIs and Detectives to track him down. That’s how she ended up with my address. This was his current residence as of April.

Well, considering my apartment is the size of a small VW Bus, I’m pretty sure I’d know if there was someone else here. I said her PIs have led her astray because I’ve been here since October. She did not seem convinced.

I’ve always felt that even when I tell the truth, I give off a guilty aura and she must have picked up on that. She pleaded that I must tell her where Matt was. He was the only one who could help her. The only one who could make her beautiful again.

Well, what can you say to that? This is one of those moments when you can cheer someone up with a few heart-felt words or tear them down with the wrong ones so…

I decided to play it safe and do what they would in the movies…

I told her that her hair looked wonderful, but that true beauty was on the inside.

And that’s when things got real--

She ripped her fingers from the grates – I thought she was going to take the entire door with her – stomped her foot into the cement and leveled me with a look that would make the Devil shrink with fear. “F*#k you! This is LA. If you’re not beautiful you’re nothing!!!”

She kicked the grate with her designer boots and stomped off.

“Good luck on your journey,” I whispered. Not because I wanted her hunt for the hair dresser to be a success, more because I wanted to piss her off by having the last word. She pounded down the stairs, glaring at me the whole way.

I quickly closed my door and the drapes and jammed the wooden stake in the slider rails. Ain’t no crazies getting in tonight.

I see why Matt, the hair dresser, disappeared…

Venice Canals

2011-12-14T07:33:00.000-08:00

The Venice Canals were voted number 2 on the top 10 walks in LA. So I figured I'd check them out. It's a series of shallow canals created by developer mogul Abbot Kinney in 1905. From the diverse architecture to the quiet atmosphere, it's a nice place to escape the busy city life. A must see when you hit LA.

Once I went a fishin'

2011-12-06T23:45:00.000-08:00

(this is a story I wrote which won second prize in the Idaho writers contest adult division... Over the years, I've tweaked it here and there as I've learned more about story structure.)

* * * * * * *

Once I went a fishin’…

May 29, 2002

Katka Springs, Idaho

That morning I awoke with a sniff of grouse feathers up my nose and handful of barbed fishhooks lodged deep in my palm. Not a typical day, but better than most because today was the opening weekend for mountain lake fly-fishing.

Being the first planned fishing trip of the year, my supplies were scattered about in disarray. I eagerly searched every nook and cranny of my room, wrangling only the most essential gear: hooks, bobbers, sinkers, tied flies, dead flies with hooks tied to them, something the cat barfed up with a hook tied to it, rubber worms, real worms, more bobbers, colorful lures, spinners, rooster tails, swivels, 10-pound line, 50-pound line (doubles as emergency boot lace) lucky squirrel tail, Duct tape, bug spray. Bug Spray? Nah, probably not this early in the season. I tossed the spray can to the floor and continued gathering supplies.

Power bait, Stink bait, Super Stink bait, a 25 foot tape measure (used to determine how high up in the tree a bobber was; my record is 23 feet) fish hook remover, pocketknife, hatchet, emergency fire-starter kit, three rolls of toilet paper, and a dusty fish counter clocked at three. The same number it had been jinxed on for years. But today, I was feeling lucky. Today that counter would be clicked past four.

I stuffed my gear into an undersized backpack, secured my fishing pole to the side with 50-pound emergency bootlace and scampered out the door.

Waiting impatiently on the porch was my faithful fishing partner Calico Jo – Callie for short. A Border Collie, Australian Shepherd, Blue Heeler, Greyhound, crossed with some mangy mongrel whose dominant trait had been an uncontrollable slobber gland. She was a loyal friend who had hidden from me through thick, out ran me through thin and always managed to find her way back to the vehicle first during a thunderstorm.

Traditionally our first fishing excursion of the year was to Dover Lake, but the night before I had unfolded an ancient Forest Service map from my father’s bait box and discovered a lonely blue dot nestled in the depths of the Rocky Mountains. It had no name. There was no marked trail to get to it. But I remembered what old Rocky McWillis once told me; he grumbled, “Pay attention Cletus (my name’s not Cletus…) cuz this conspiracy goes all the way to the top. The Forest Service always leaves the best mountain fishing lakes unnamed.”

Loading Callie into the back of my bargain Blazer we managed ten feet before the engine stalled and sputtered to death. Callie sighed as I commenced my verbal assault.

The following vocal outburst could not be printed.

Another three cranks and the engine roared to life, coughed, choked, gagged and then found a rhythmic idle.

* * * * *

Sweating and grunting I pushed my wretched bargain Blazer up the final half-mile of visible road. She had this unpredictable habit of killing her engine at the most inopportune times. Back in ’01 I tried to outmaneuver a stampeding logging truck which was barreling right for us. I wanted to tap the breaks and pull gently to the shoulder of the road, but she had other plans. My bargain Blazer coughed to death, locked her steering wheel then her doors and cascaded off the road into a ditch of thistles. Her dying, me cursing, it was a game we played. Not a very fun one, but a game none-the-less.

Skidding to a stop, I jammed her in park and then mopped the sweatband of my fedora. After unloading Callie, I scoured the road for a striped rock. Spitting on a striped rock and throwing it into a pool of water was an old time trick to bring good fishing luck and today I found a three-striped rock. I laid down a slathering coat of saliva and pitched the rock over the hillside into a murky swamp. Good luck was sure to follow.

Scooping up my backpack, I checked the map one last time guessing at my unknown coordinates then began stomping a trail through the underbrush. In roughly two hours I would be at the lake, my lake.

* * * * *

Three hours into my trek the mosquitoes continued to attack with the fury of a thousand starving wolverines. I swatted, slapped and murdered thousands only to have their brethren seek revenge on my exposed skin. Tugging the flannel over my head, I sprinted through the underbrush screaming like a banshee with its sheet on fire. My arms swung wildly in the air, swatting at the aggressive mosquitoes stabbing their bloodsuckers though my shirt and jeans. Smaller, more agile mosquitoes pursued me like fighter planes in various attack formations, swooping in, stabbing me, then jetting back to their protective cloud.

There was no escape; I was going to be sucked to death in a matter of seconds if I couldn’t find a way to extinguish their fiery rage. Fire! My emergency fire starter kit, of course! Shucking my backpack I burrowed deep inside and recovered my fire kit. I ripped it open and spread the contents on the forest floor.

Candles.

No.

Flint stick.

No time.

Dried matches.

You bet.

Custom vile of gasoline.

Oh ya!

I doused a wilting scrub bush with gasoline, lit a match and dove for cover. The bush exploded! The orange ball of flames incinerated a cloud of mosquitoes. The survivors scattered into the depths of the forest, disoriented and mystified by this pale, yet tasty skinned fellow’s power to conjure up fire.

Quickly I stoked the fire with twigs and dried brush and then bathed my face in smoke. I tossed my hat aside, stripped down to my sleeveless undershirt and fanned the smoke with my flannel. The mosquitoes soon lost interest and as one giant cloud hummed off to the south.

Callie yawned and curled up for a nap under a dormant huckleberry bush. Not a bad idea, so I selected a tree, spread out my flannel and reached for my fedora to shade the midday sun from my face. My outstretched fingers fell on soggy soil, then a mossy rock, but no hat. A quick scan of the terrain came back negative. I glanced at Callie. Her dark, uninterested eyes met mine then rolled slightly west to my fedora scooting up a rotten cedar tree.

“What the –“ I yelped and rushed to the base of the tree.

I shook the cedar trunk violently. My fedora skidded down a branch and then continued to climb. I jabbed my assembled fishing pole at the retreating hat, which scurried into a squirrel hole, twenty feet up. Irritated, I returned to my backpack.

Five whacks into the rotten trunk with my hatchet brought the cedar crashing to its’ knees, right into the fire, showering the forest with glowing embers.

Rising from the settling embers, an angry mountain squirrel, wearing my charred fedora like a kilt, charged down the fallen cedar and leapt for face, rotten teeth and jagged claws poised for attack. I defensively swung my fishing pole and smacked the sailing heathen to the ground. Quick to retaliate, the squirrel lodged its’ crooked teeth into my fishing pole, snapped the tip off and ran for the bushes.

“Why you little – ” I yelled and lowered my pole to the ground. I released the drag and line zinged into the underbrush. Patiently, I watched the spool unwind. Waiting for that thieving weasel cousin to think he’d gotten away with the tip of my pole and my favorite rooster tail.

Just a little more slack…

Times up!

I jerked the pole hard to set the barbed hooks, hopefully right through the side of that vermin’s pelt. I engaged the drag and reeled in, gave a little slack then madly reeled again. The line violently jerked me to the dirt. A fighter huh? Bracing my feet against a stump, I yanked the pole back, reeled a bit, and then yanked again. He did not look it, but he was a heavy bugger.

Abruptly, my line slackened and slumped to the ground. He had given up; succumb to the mighty fisherman’s power. A thunderous crash and heated snort brought me back to reality. Callie curled deeper under her huckleberry bush as a series of tremors shook the soil. Pinecones snapped loose from their branches and rocks trembled all around my boots.

He didn’t look that big when I hooked him.

Suddenly a bull moose exploded through brush. Eyes ablaze with anger! My fishing line was tangled around his velvet antlers and my rooster tail was pierced neatly under his right nostril.

I shared a friendly wave, “It looks nice on you.”

His lips curled with hatred and he belched swamp gas.

This was definitely not the proper time or place, but for some reason it bubbled into my brain. As I stood there, hyperventilating, my mind drifted to that age-old question every fisherman faces at least once a season. Fish or cut bait? A catch this size was worth at least three if not four clicks on my fish counter.

The Bull Moose snorted again, lowered his antlers and charged!

I screamed, dropped my pole and darted to the south with Callie hot on my heels and the moose not two beats behind. We had both been in this predicament before, not with a beast this large or hostile, but similar, and we both knew that in this race it was survival of the fastest. So, like any survival motivated animal on the run, Callie nipped my calf to slow me down and sprinted forward.

“Owww! You coward!” I hollered, “Keep running, but I’ve got the keys!”

* * * * * * *

Rrrr… clunk.

Vrrr… clunk.

“Son of a— c’mon! You rusted pile of –”

I twisted the key harder and it snapped off in the ignition slot. After a brief Tourettes moment, I dove for the rubber-made of tools near the spare tire in the back of my Blazer.

Jumper cables.

No.

Oily rag.

Negative.

Tire iron.

Tempting, but no.

Ah ha! Screwdriver!

I scrambled back to the driver’s seat, jammed the screwdriver into the ignition and frantically cranked. Callie whimpered and glanced at the passenger side mirror and the looming figure of a charging bull moose.

“I know, I know!” I screamed.

Slamming the pedal to the floor I cranked on the screwdriver one final time. The engine roared to life. I slammed her into reverse.

Whack! Didn’t see that tree.

Feverishly, I grabbed another gear and stomped the pedal to the floor. A thunderous backfire followed by a billowing smoke cloud signaled liftoff, then the engine choked on vapors and died.

The following vocal outburst could not be printed. Again.

I screamed like a horror movie actress as I turned to see those deep, angry, brown eyes of the bull moose outside my driver’s side window. His swamp-gas breath fog dotted my window as he pressed his nose against the glass, my rooster-tail dangling from his right nostril. Callie jumped out the passenger side window and scampered off into the nearby underbrush.

“Coward!” I screeched.

The bull moose lowered his antlers, dug his hooves into the gravel and heaved. I think I rolled twice maybe three times down the hill and landed upside down in the murky swamp. Infested water rushed in from the passenger window.

Still dazed, I scrambled to the back. Three solid kicks later the rear hatch window swung open then slammed shut and locked! I kicked and kicked and kicked again. Nothing. Frantically I fumbled through the water, found the tire iron and proceeded to swing like Sosa.

Wading to shore, I dusted shattered glass from my shoulders and plopped down upon a mossy rock to watch six hundred dollars slowly sink into oblivion. Callie emerged from the underbrush and nuzzled my elbow so I scratched her ear.

“Yeah, I’m glad you’re okay too,” I said. “Do you think moose attack is covered under my comprehensive insurance plan?”

Change

2011-12-02T23:47:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the new blog!

Fresh design.

Updated name.

Same guy behind the keyboard.

Here are a few sections to look forward to--

Will give updates on my Hollywood progress from internships, to contests to jobs.

Will give you a glimpse into the crazy world I live in.

Will chronicle my mountain adventures.

Will be a collection of my sketches. Some will be just doodles, while others will be full on illustrations.

At the moment will be more of a look back at my past travels until I actually start traveling again...

Will spotlight the shorts and web series I create or collaborate on.

So let's get this started off on the right foot!

FADE IN:

INT. LA APARTMENT - NIGHT

Thanksgiving was amazing.

I spent the day in Fallbrook, CA a rural town north of San Diego with my cousin's husband's family -- the Allens! It's tradition for them to play softball or kickball before Thanksgiving dinner, but this year traffic had everyone running late. So instead my cousin, her husband, his dad and I did a 40 minute circuit workout which consisted of running, medicine ball lunges, russian twists, dumbbell push ups, crunches, weighted squats etc...

It was a nice way to make room for the delicious entrees!

Stay tuned for more updates! Until next time...

FADE OUT.

Coming Soon: CHANGE

2011-11-14T12:57:00.000-08:00

So for all of you still following this there are going to be some upcoming changes.

1. new blog name

2. new design layout

3. a more consistent stream of content.

On Dec. 2nd, change is happening.

MaRCh mAdNeSS

2011-03-26T10:39:00.000-07:00

FADE IN:

INT. LA APARTMENT - DAY

Yeah, yeah, I know... I’ve been slacking off. Seriously, two months is way too long between posts. So here’s what’s happened since January 11.

First off, the 2011 NCAA tourney has been the year of the underdog! There have been some amazing, down to the wire games. Awesome, except it really killed my bracket. There’s so much red ink splashed over my online NCAA bracket that it looks like one of my high school biology quizzes. My elite eight is down to a pathetic three… 3/8 looks more like a Shaquille O’Neal free throw stat line. Still, Go UNC!!!

I snagged a part time at FedEx-Kinkos in February. I am tasked with greeting customers, shipping packages and working in production. So far I’ve helped LA Clippers SG Eric Gordon, WWE’s Diamond Dallas Page, actor Fred Ward, Chad Calek, from American Ghost Hunter and Mr. Skyhook himself, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar! The FedEx crew is sincere and very welcoming. Plus the company is willing to work around my internship schedule. And the customers… well they are fodder for interesting screenplay characters.

The Mark Gordon Internship is going great. I pitched a few ideas the other day, they loved my presentation skills, said I have a firm grasp of character and plot, but I need higher concept ideas. Adding a sci-fi/fantasy element will help attract this generation of moviegoers. Also, they trust me enough to let me man an assistant’s desk and run phones. The best part is I read a buttload of scripts! * I feel buttload is the appropriate term considering the quality of some of the scripts.

I did get this compliment from the Director of Development the other day. “He writes REALLY good coverage. This kind of analysis is super helpful for me.”

So I guess I got that going for me…

In other news, the Tsunami warning turned out to be a bust. We got hammered with three-foot waves. Still... I parked my car on the upper level of the parking garage. I’ve also Mapquested a few LA exit strategies and packed a Tsunami emergency bag – water, dried food, flashlight, sunscreen, fishing pole, two sketchbooks and a handful of water resistant pens. You know, essential survival equipment. All I need now is a self-inflating raft and a fish finder and then I’m good to go. I am working for the company who made 2012. Hopefully that does not turn out to be a self fulfilling prophecy.

If you get a chance check out the new prime time shows Off the Map and Chicago Code. I feel they are the cream of the midseason replacement crop. Also Tangled is a really heartwarming movie. It’s on par with How to Train Your Dragon. Looking forward to Captain America, Thor and the new Pirates movie. The new 3 musketeers... not so much.

Well, it’s sunny, 70 and I am off to be a productive part of society. Until next time…

FADE OUT.

New year

2011-01-11T12:08:00.000-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. LOS ANGELES APARTMENT - DAY

Wow, I can’t believe it’s 2011.

To catch ya’ll up on my latest activities:

I started the New Year as an intern for the Mark Gordon Company – production company of TV shows like Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice and Criminal Minds along with movies like Speed, Austin Powers, 2012 and the new Source Code. So far, I’m tasked with making copies, manning phones, sorting mail, running errands and writing script coverage. It's a fun office to work for. There is a vibrant energy that is both invigorating and refreshing

I also finished my 2010 coffee table photo book entitled: A Thousand Mile Summer – Lookouts, Peaks and Vistas of Boundary County.

http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/1872838?ce=blurb_ew&utm_source=widget

This Thanksgiving I was ‘adopted’ into the Allen Family – My cousin’s husband’s family – who live in rural Fallbrook CA, just outside of San Diego. We played kickball, ate our fill and spent the evening playing board games. The next day the girls headed to the spa and the guys set out to conquer the ‘Cactus to the clouds’ hike; a grueling 12-mile hike that begins at 400 ft. and ends at 10,800 ft. Thankfully, there was a tram to take us back down to the SUV.

I was fortunate enough to make a quick trip to North Idaho for Christmas. It was a nice relaxing few days filled with family, friends and good food. I managed to escape before the big snow storm, but returned to LA during a record-breaking rainstorm. Streets were flooded, cars were stranded and I’d left my Vancouver umbrella somewhere in storage.

Still writing, still running and still chasing the dream.

Until next time...

FADE OUT.

Screenwriting Shangri La

2010-10-21T20:47:00.000-07:00

FADE IN:

INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT

Today, I stood in screenwriting Shangri La.

At the corner of Fairfax and West 3rd Street stood a legendary structure, unassuming in appearance, but oh the treasures it contained. I waved to an elderly security guard and turned down a slender hallway. Every step quicker than the next as I approached—

The Writers Guild Foundation Shavelson-Webb Library

Floor to ceiling shelves loaded with television and movie scripts. Additional compartments housed biographies, how-tos, and how-not-tos along with other hidden gems such as: Steven Spielberg; The Man, His Movies, and Their Meaning by Philip M. Taylor. Over 17,000 scripts… Each treated like the Holy Grail, but instead of ‘not passing the great seal,’ they couldn't pass the glass doors of Billy Wilder’s Reading Room.

Small alcoves with modern, yet comfortable crimson chairs served as sanctuaries for reading and writing. Or people watching. I’m told the farmer’s market across the street has inspired many quirky characters.

I stood there surrounded by ‘thoughts and success’ and felt inspired to write… But alas, this was only a recon mission. I’d left my laptop and notebooks at the apartment in case Shangri La turned out to be the Houston Projects.

I’ll return soon, armed and ready to commence my assault on the screenwriting world.

Until then…

FADE OUT.

Road Trip Photos

2010-10-12T12:22:00.001-07:00

Multnomah Falls, OR

The Oregon Coast reminds me of Ireland.

You can be Jeff Gordon for $2100.

Sea lion cave. A $12 tourist trap.

Welcome to awesomeness.

My Picks for New Fall Shows to Succeed

2010-09-29T11:31:00.000-07:00

FADE IN:

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

Hour long Dramas:

· Blue Bloods

· Hawaii Five-0

· Undercovers & The Defenders

o I still have hope for Chase

Half hour comedies

· $#*! My Dad Says

· Mike and Molly

· Running Wilde

I am looking forward to seeing Matthew Perry’s Mr. Sunshine, ABC’s Off the map, and NBC’s the Cape later this fall.

FADE OUT.

Final review

2010-09-29T11:25:00.000-07:00

FADE IN:

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

Final Fall Review

$#*! MY DAD SAYS ***1/2

A comedy about a mid twenties, out of work journalist who is forced to move in with his grumpy, forthright father.

+3:

· A joke fest. It's filled with dry wit, callbacks to earlier gags (the raccoon) and reversals of expectation which work on so many levels.

· William Shatner was tailor made for Ed, a sour, crotchety old man who speaks his mind and offers stubborn fatherly advice which adds to the charm and mystic of this comedy. And Shatner's stone faced deliveries ooze with sarcasm.

· The dynamic. All the cast seem comfortable in their roles and work together to create an enjoyable sitcom.

-3:

· The arguments and faux yelling take away the impact of the jokes. Tone those scenes down and let us enjoy the jokes.

· The awkward dance scene at the end could have been a down ending. Good thing the girl scouts saved the day.

· Lose the laugh track.

Based on the famous twitter account, $#*! is a breath of fresh air and a must see.

BLUE BLOODS *****

A crime drama that follows the lives of a tight knit, multi-generational Reagan family and their dedication to the New York City Police Department.

+3:

· The family dynamic. The Sunday dinner scene highlighted how these characters interact with each other. Sibling bickering heated exchanges of opinions, reconciliation and understanding. This is a great example of non-verbal communication. Each character is fully fleshed out with strengths and flaws compounded and duplicated until the Reagans are practically popping off the screen. Danny Reagan takes the law into his own hands to solve a case and he knows he’s going to pay for it… but it was worth it. Chief Reagan takes the opportunity to promote his legacy because he knows he’s on his last leg and has no friends in high places to save him. Erin Reagan-Boyle wants to uphold the law, but also protect her family and she’s not afraid to air her opinion, just like her grandfather. And Jaime, the new blue in a uniform, has a hell of a decision to make…

· The secrets we keep reveal more than what we say… And every Reagan has a secret...

· Story line. Set up, escalating problems, a solution that leads to another problem and more drama. Addictive.

-3:

· I’m still thinking…

Wow. The former producers of the Sopranos take an in depth look at the other side of the law and the men and women who serve and protect – by their own rules. The casting is wonderful. From the opening intercut between Chief Reagan’s speech and the kidnapping of the girl, I was put into a chokehold and held breathless until the final fade out. Blue Bloods accomplishes in the pilot what other dramas only dream of doing or spend seasons faking. This is story telling at it’s finest.

NO ORDINARY FAMILY **1/2

After a plane crash in Brazil, the Powell family returns home with special extraordinary powers

+3:

· Discovery of powers. When Jim catches the bullet at work and then goes to the batting cage to test his theories was a structurally sound sequence. When he realized he’s not invincible after being shot in the head it becomes a family affair was an added bonus to bring it full circle. Stephanie discovers her speed by running down the highway… I’m not sure it would not have played better had she just ran and got a beaker for an experiment. Daphne’s struggles with her mental telepathy. What a power for a teenager! And JJ has a beautiful mind… As they uncover their powers at different stages in the pilot, it added to the drama as they struggle to control their powers and understand their limits.

· George St. Cloud as the sidekick. From his fainting after shooting Jim, to utilizing the police scanner to building a lair with wifi, he is a great addition.

· The Ending. Revealing there are other extraordinary people out there and that Stephanie’s boss is involved. A tangled web they weave…

-3:

· The interview style introduction and the reveal the Powells are attending marriage counseling… I am on the fence because it does not feel like it’s adding to the story, just rehashing or explaining what we are seeing. There is already a lot of explaining in this series and the interview scenes may become redundant.

· Voicing subtext…

· Sneering villains with nothing more to do than shoot people and rehash tired overconfident, one-liners. The reveal that the robber had special powers was great because it sets up a balance of good and evil in this world, but now it begs the question, is this a family drama or will it be a crime fighting/action series…

No Ordinary Family fells like Heroes. Hopefully stays true to its premise.

Other shows watched but not reviewed

THE WHOLE TRUTH *

Competitive lawyers who…you know the drill… The POV swaps in the first two acts were a change of pace, but could not save the show.

Old favorites still running on all cylinders

CHUCK – has hit its stride after struggling at the end of season two.

MODERN FAMILY – Can you say more Emmys?

TWO AND A HALF MEN – Old habits are hard to break.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - Cast dynamic + writing = funny, funny, funny.

GREYS ANATOMY – How will Seattle Grace recover in the aftermath of last season’s bloody season finale?

NCIS – One word. Gibbs.

COMMUNITY -- Another word. Abed.

Hope you enjoyed the reviews and stay tuned…

FADE OUT.

More reviews

2010-09-25T14:58:00.000-07:00

FADE IN:

INT. MY SISTER’S APARTMENT – DAY

Part III of the Fall Review

DETROIT 1-8-7 *1/2

A gritty documentary drama about Detectives Washington and Fitch who investigate homicides in Detroit.

+3:

· Interrogation scene: Det. Finch uses the silent treatment to crack a perp and gain a confession. Fresh and inventive.

· Det. Washington cuffs a perp to a playground swing set and takes a call from his pregnant wife expecting her to be in labor. The perp tries to make a run for it cuffed to a plastic slide.

· The honest moment in final hostage negotiation where Finch reveals more character in three minutes than he did the previous 40. His heart felt confession about knowing what the shooter is going through reeled me back in… But not for long.

-3:

· Cold and lifeless.

· The documentary/Cops style does not help enhance the story, especially when you are not fully committed to the documentary style. Without the interviews or the side bar comments (ala The Office or My Generation) this series feels incomplete.

· I found it hard to identify with any of the characters. The rookie, Det. Washington was a ploy to let us enter the world, but I was never along for the ride. I felt left out on many of the reveals.

Detroit has a high crime rate so there will be an abundance of story lines, however the question is will they be appealing… I feel the ending foreshadows what’s in store for this series.

THE DEFENDERS ***1/2

A comedic drama about two colorful Las Vegas defense attorneys who go all-in when it comes to representing their clients.

+3:

· Jim Belushi rocks as Nick Morelli, a sports loving, martini drinking showman, with marital problems. He may not have the perfect life, (he hires a PI to tail his wife because he thinks she’s cheating on him even though they are separated) but I’m willing to forgive him because he’s great at defending his clients. From his conniving nature to his coy smiles, Belushi sinks his teeth into the role and never lets go. The scene with the water cup is one of the many memorable pilot moments.

· The main case. I got to know the defendant, I cared about his situation and was rooting for the Defense to find a way to prove he was innocent.

· At one point Pete claims that they are “Dumb enough to care.” I’m not sure dumb should be used to describe this gem. Smart. Clever. And refreshing. Yes. But not dumb. It has too many elements working for it. The team’s tenacity gives up hope. Their attention to detail keep us engaged. And their humor and pizzazz keeps us craving more.

-3:

· Pete Kaczmarek – the gambler/playboy with a heart of gold. Cliché. Jerry O’Connell is the character’s saving grace. He’s not given much, but his animal magnetism and affable delivery keeps Pete from sinking into sleaze ball territory.

· The smaller cases. There were two beats and a lot of women looking for a defendant, but that storyline never came to fruition… Could have done without that.

· The flashy suits. It’s Vegas, so I’ll let it slide.

This show was a pleasant surprise. I went in with low expectations thinking it would be another run-of-the-mill lawyer drama, but the Defenders has an affable quality and an underdog appeal that both fascinates and captivates. The show has three central characters, but is peppered with colorful minor characters i.e. Zoe Waters, with her flamboyant eye shadow and post it note message technique. Defenders is a blend of flash and style with huge helping of substance. Further more, any show that concludes with a serenade by Frank Sinatra Jr. is a must see.

THE EVENT **1/2

A thriller that follows an ordinary man who unwittingly exposes the biggest cover-up in U.S. history.

+3:

· Great mystery and intrigue. “Who are these people and why should we not let them out?”

· Tension. From loaded subtext to the riveting act breaks, I refused to change the channel.

· Jason Ritter as Sean Walker. He hooked me from the start as I questioned how this average Joe went from a romantic cruise with his girlfriend to brandishing a pistol on a 747. He leaves no emotion untouched. A desperate man looking for his girlfriend, you feel for him, but still have no idea if you can trust him. Good stuff.

-3:

· Flashbacks. I am on the fence. They rehash information and provide new insight from a different POV, but they have a tendency to break up the tense moments and upon returning to the scene, lose a little momentum.

· Pacing. I was forced to digest a lot in very little time. You want to watch this show, you better drop everything and be willing to keep up.

· At the climax, a 747 careers toward the villa harboring the US President and then the strangest thing happened… And you lost me. Then it was over and now I have to wait a week for the explanation…

The Event feels like a mash up of 24 and Lost. If it can maintain momentum and mystery all blanketed inside a conspiracy this show has staying power, but might be better digested as a DVD box set.

MY GENERATION ***

A documentary style drama follows the graduates of Greenbelt High School's class of 2000 and reunites them ten years later so see how their lives have panned out.

+3:

· Documentary style. What Detroit 1-8-7 fails to do, this show captures and maintains. The flashbacks, the sidebars and the eaves dropping cameras all adds to the appeal.

· Relatable. Ten years after high school, no one’s lives turned out the way they planned. It was interesting to see how world events changed them, inspired them and even destroyed them... One woman wanted to be a scientist until the Florida ‘hanging chad’ fiasco, then she entered politics. Another was an all star basketball player and then joined the army after 9-11. Some of their dreams died, others were fulfilled, and many settled for less than they deserved, and others just grew up and move on…

· The inner woven storylines. Nine characters all tangled in a dramatic web and brought together for a second chance, maybe to recapture their dreams…

-3:

· Jerky nature of the flashbacks. I realize they are meant to represent hand held cameras, but I’d like to keep my dinner down.

· The emotions. This one is a tearjerker, so be prepared.

· The camera-person/narrator probing for answers. I’m on the fence about this technique.

Within five minutes I was determined to conclude my review with, “in the words on my generation. WHO CARES.” But by the midpoint this show had piqued my interest and by the finale, I was in the same boat. I felt for the nerd who found out he was impotent. I cheered when the Wallflower asserted herself. And I am hoping they all can be with the ones they love. We have one life to live and it’s too short to not chase what our hearts desire.

Other shows watched but not reviewed

LONESTAR *

A conman with a heart of gold… come on.

OUTSOURCED *

A comedy about the bad news bears of India’s call centers… pass.

Stay tuned… still more to come.

FADE OUT.

More reviews

2010-09-25T09:09:00.000-07:00

FADE IN:

INT. MY SISTER’S APARTMENT – DAY

Part II of the Fall Review

RAISING HOPE **

A comedy that follows the Chance family, a terribly flawed band of individuals, as they find themselves caring for a newborn baby.

+3:

· Surprises and unexpected reveals peaked my interest and invoked involuntary laughter – I know I shouldn’t be laughing, but I just can’t help it.

· Sabrina, the sarcastic checker whose random vandalism stole the show, but her questioning nature and compassion made her empathetic. She could really turn Jimmy’s life upside down and make it fun.

· Singing the baby to sleep. That one heart felt moment made me I realize despite all the bickering and backbiting, this family cares about each other and will help make this work.

-3:

· Jimmy, the protagonist, is a whiner who believes no one has any faith in him, which they don’t, but he spends too much time dwelling on that instead of finding solutions to raise Hope.

· Gross out humor – throwing up on the baby. A different twist on a tired joke.

· I felt like I was laughing at this family. Instead of standing beside them I remained on the sidelines, never fully engaged, never included.

Greg Garcia is in his element and this family feels like Earl’s relatives. I kept waiting for Jason Lee to strut through the door. “Growing up, embracing our mistakes and trying to better our lives” seems to be the message but it’s lost in the outlandish plot and gross out humor… Not my cup of tea.

BETTER WITH YOU ***

A comedy that tracks three different couples as they deal with relationship status, a new engagement and pregnancy.

+3:

· Revealing character introductions. With in the first five minutes I knew who the main players were and at least one of their exaggerated quirks so I could identify with them.

· Fresh scene transitions using photo booths pictures.

· The male characters are more fleshed out with relatable quirks and deliver the better comedic lines. Ben is Jerry Seinfeld with energy, witty and worried where as Casey is goofy, naïve yet true to himself. Together they make a great comedic paring.

-3:

· Too much information. Where as Raising Hope was simplistic, Better With You provided one reveal after another until I felt overwhelmed. The first reveal about the young couple getting married would have been enough to carry the show, but the second reveal – delivered in a comedic way – was unnecessary.

· Maddie, melodrama disguised as humor.

· Utilization of the older couple Vicky and Joel (Kurt Fuller & Debra Jo Rupp). Together, they possess a plethora of comedic talent; which is squandered in their minor roles.

Better With You has potential to be a hit – good clean comedy, great premises – but it needs to utilize its setups and refrain from getting too complicated as they continue their run.

OUTLAW **

A drama that follows Supreme Court Justice Cyrus Garza who quits his job hoping to right the system by starting his own private practice.

+3:

· Lucinda, the fiery private investigator, is complex, engaging and steals her scenes. Of all the characters, she’s the most fleshed out and cliché defying.

· “…No longer a victim, I’m in control of my life” is a powerful message. Garza has a strong sense of justice and a need to protect the innocent. It’s a tale of redemption and making a stand…

· The on going mystery of “Who’s the brute following Justice Garza?”

-3:

· The character’s set up was a rip off from Ironman, only the dialogue was changed. Garza is an older version of Tony Stark.

· Lack of scene energy. For the first half of the pilot, the characters (with the exception of Lucinda) felt like they were going through the motions, reading memorized lines… The intensity picked up in the final courtroom show down but by then, viewers could have changed the channel.

· Another courtroom drama…

Outlaw is a typical courtroom drama with a team of experts working behind the scenes to bring justice to a falsely accused man. However, in most courtroom dramas there is a sense of empathy for the accused. I never felt that. I never cared enough to hope this guy made it off death row. As interesting as the case was and the techniques used by the defense to obtain evidence I just didn’t find it engaging…

UNDERCOVERS ***1/2

An action adventure that centers around two former spies, Steven and Samantha Bloom, who are thrown back into the espionage world while trying to lead a normal life.

+3:

· Chemistry: The Blooms are a loving married couple looking for adventure to rejuvenate ‘the spark.’ Alone, they more than hold their own, but together they are captivating. And human. Their flaws and forgiving nature built depth and empathy. I cared what happened to the Blooms.

· Action packed first act sets up an adrenaline-fueled adventure that swept us back into the game.

· Bill, the Sidekick. Crafted to reveal character through hero worship.

-3:

· Talky – Lots of dialogue, not unnecessary or redundant, but at times more could be relayed through non-verbal communication.

· Distracting camera movements. It’s not a stagnant shot if you keep the camera locked and let the characters move around. The style distracts from the story.

· After five years out of the game, wouldn’t they be a bit… rusty?

Undercovers grabbed me right from the start and lead me on a high-octane adventure with compelling characters, original action sequences and surprising act breaks. My biggest concern is budget. Can this series sustain its explosive, adrenaline rush for 22 episodes? I hope so… In the mean time it’s a must see.

Stay tuned… more to come.

FADE OUT.

New Adventures

2010-09-23T12:09:00.000-07:00

FADE IN:

INT. MY SISTER’S APARTMENT – DAY

Just to catch you up on what I’ve been doing for the last year…

My friend, Bret Jolliffe and I wrote and directed a short film, Leonard and the Mail Lady. I spent the summer writing, hiking, and taking photographs, which culminated in a coffee table book called A Thousand Mile Summer. Finally, thanks to the help of my wonderful cousin and her husband; I’ll be moving into a small LA studio apartment to pursue my writing career.

I wanted to take the next few entries and review some of the new shows coming out this fall season. In no particular order…

CHASE: **1/2

Centers on Annie Frost a wholesome-yet-lethal Texan who leads a team of US marshals tasked with tracking down some of America's most wanted fugitives.

+3:

- A viscous villain more complex than the entire US Marshals team. Suave and murderous. Charming and deadly. He steals the show.

- Kelli Giddish as Annie Frost: Tough, sensitive with a dark past, all cliché. A modern day cowgirl with a sense of justice. We’ve seen before in male form. But her stage presence and wholesome, kick-ass nature adds depth not found in the writing.

- Setting: Texas... Where the John Wayne style law dawgs still thrive…

-3:

- Too much explaining. Audiences are perceptive, there’s no need to repeat facts we’ve already grasped.

- Forced character moments and Southern sayings are not a substitute for subtext and do not reveal character nor carry a scene.

- Forced action masking plot holes – Raymond Chandler once said “When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.” This show falls prey to that.

Chase has so much untapped potential. If this was baseball, the pilot was not a total swing and a miss, but it was a foul ball. However, television is a gamble and they’re still in the batters box. I’m willing to give them two more strikes. The cast feel a bit stiff. Once they get comfortable, this show could really take off.

HAWAII FIVE-0 ****

A fresh update of the popular 1970's show; centers around Steve McGarrett, former military and Danny Williams, Hawaii PD. Together they are the foundation for a governor appointed Special Ops crime-fighting unit tasked with hunting down criminals that plague the islands.

+3:

- Chemistry – Scott Cann and Alex O’Loughlin are Danno and McGarrett. From their rocky start to witty banter to eventual respect create an exciting partnership. Complicated and empathetic, make them our generations Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid.

- Dialogue: Rich subtext, tight storytelling and non-verbal communications enrich this already marvelous show. There are no forced character moments. Yes, there’s the typical beer-in-hand bonding moment, but like sitting down with old friends and you want to listen to their story.

- Set up – Complication – payoff. Simple concept and this show nails it. My favorites are the heart felt three-beat-sequence with a stuffed bunny and the tense undercover bust that goes wrong.

-3:

- Complicated call to action and refusal of the call.

- Viscously weak villains. They can snarl and waves an automatic rifle all they want but the main characters are so superior in intellect and technology that they need a Hans Gruber style villain to challenge them.

- Expectations. Can it continue to capture the lighting in a bottle…

From Alex Kurtzman and Robert Orci (Star Trek, MI 3, Transformers, Alias) Five-0 is a character driven action/drama with great pacing and complex story lines delivered in a simple, effective manner. This show is a must see.

RUNNING WILDE ***1/2

A comedy about a spoiled, selfish, millionaire reuniting with his eco friendly, high school crush who is determined to make him a better man.

+3:

- Great character introductions. Within the first five minutes, you have a strong sense of who the major players are and it’s hard not to love each and every one of them.

- Exaggeration = Comedy. Steven Wilde is all about excess and is surrounded by colorful comedic characters.

- A fine mixture of comedy and character moments. These are people you want to invite into your home… if only for a half an hour.

-3:

- Puddle. An intriguing living situation and manipulative nature make her interesting, but she feels like a miniature copy of her mother – and not in the cool, comedic way George Michael was to his father.

- The love affair – Emmy’s determined to make him a better man, and Steve’s determined to make her a worse woman. The comedy comes from the romantic tension and needs to be extended as long as possible ala: Jim and Pam’s Office romance.

- Fa’ad – the neighbor. Just not a fan.

After watching the pilot, Running Wilde felt fresh yet familiar. The narrative style, the comedic structure and the cameo by David Cross should have clued me in that Will Arnett, Mitchell Hurwitz and Jim Vallely recreated Arrested Development’s magic. Thank goodness, the world will now be a better place.

MIKE & MOLLY ***

A comedy about a working class Chicago couple who find love at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting.

+3:

- Charm: the world is a sensitive place, so a comedy about larger Americans could have been a touchy subject. But Mike and Molly are presented in an empathetic way. You want them to succeed, but they’re not afraid to make fun of themselves, which alleviates any potentially insulting natured jokes.

- Melissa McCarthy – she brings energy, heart and ups Molly’s adorable factor by 100. Combine that with her comedic timing and this show has lasting power.

- Comedic Rule of Three: Set up, build up, punch line. Classic made fresh.

-3:

- The mother and sister. Flat and insulting… at times.

- Coincidence or fate? The two officers just happen to show up at Molly’s place just after the robbery. I call contrived coincidence.

- Set pieces. House, café and car. We’ve seen them before.

Chuck Lorre is 3 for 3 in the new millennium (Two and a Half Men, Big Bang Theory and now Mike and Molly). This is a funny; heart felt comedy that has the power to inspire.

Stay tuned… more to come.

FADE OUT.

Lights and Internships

2009-11-08T09:08:00.000-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. BRET & TARA'S APARTMENT - DAY

It's raining in Vancouver, but that didn't stop Joe Carnahan and his crew from filming next summer's blockbuster A-Team. They had a city street blocked off so BA's stunt man could repel down a 30 story building. It was a three camera set up, one on a crane to the west, one on a pulley system that tracked BA as he raced down the building and another on a window washing cart across the street. They had Audi's, Smart cars, Mercedes and VWs on the street dressed with European plates. It's amazing how they can make downtown Vancouver look like Germany... Film making, the ultimate team sport.

It's my final term. Less than two months to go. Then I'll be back out on the street armed with a degree from one of the top film schools in North America. Crazy...

Currently I'm taking Final Feature, TV Pilot, Adaptation, Web Series, Writing for Comics, Journalism and Biz Marketing... On the side, I am gathering letters of recommendation and revamping my resume to start sending out to Hollywood production houses for internships. We're casting for web series on Monday and will be shooting four student episodes in December. I will get to work with the actors from Come Home Soon. And I am really excited to work with Chase and Mox again! Our directors for the shoot.

Last night I attended a Lights concert. She's an indie pop singer out of Toronto. Extremely talented and very fan friendly. An avid comic book reader and lover of WOW with an enthusiastic following.

http://www.myspace.com/lights.

Check her out. She surprised me. That's all to report for now. Just plugging away... Take care and stay tuned.

FADE OUT.

Been a while...

2009-10-26T15:11:00.000-07:00

FADE IN:

INT. VANCOUVER PUBLIC LIBRARY - DAY

Three pigeons huddle atop the Centre Theatre. Shivering in the sun. The only warmth to be found is in the colors of the changing leaves. Winter is coming. I know it, and so do they as they huddle closer together.

Now that that is out of my system... Yeah, I know, it's been a while since my last post, so here's the run down of events since March... Really? That's the last time I wrote. Jeez...

I finished a full length feature about off road muscle car racing in Georgia, written a sitcom pilot about airport attendees, webisodes and commercials, have outlined my second full length feature (a western) and hour long TV pilot.
Mouse trapped while trying to learn to wake board (Mouse trapped is when you hit your face so hard against the water it sounds like a mouse trap... fun).
Hiked Two Mouth Lakes' ridge (I still can't feel my legs Bryan).
Watched a lot of movies (I really recommend Paranormal Activity and Zombieland).
Had three of my short scripts filmed. (A modern western, a drama, and thriller).
Worked with the talented acting students, along with my classmates, to write and produce an hour long theatre play about route 66.
Went to a Rugby game.
Watched my main man Brandon Roy and the Portland T-Blazers destroy the Phoenix Suns.
And attended my first Canadian Thanksgiving.

All in all it has been a very rewarding year, especially having the short scripts filmed.

Regarding the short scripts:

The Thriller was called Heart Strings - about the dangers of internet dating. It was chosen to be filmed during the VFS Summer Intensive Course. Charlotte Chanler acted in it. It should be out now, I'll check on that.

The modern western was called Three Little Words about a man who has to decide between staying with the love of his or leaving for the rodeo and one last chance at a buckle. It was directed by Hilary Marsh (she is a gem) and the actors were Barry Haggis and Amy Lee McGrath. Much props to Wade Fennig & his crew for all their hard work. We actually filmed on a spacious ranch, backed by mountains out near Port Moody - provided by Laura Doyle my TV Spec & Pilot teacher. The screening will be November 20, and posted to the web sometime after that.

I spent last week on set of my drama Come Home Soon. This film was crewed by Michael Chase, Mox and Barry, starred Arielle Tuliao & Jared Abrahamson and was directed by Matthew Lillard - his directorial debut. It was an amazing experience. The student crew was amazing, especially in the way they looked out for each other. The professional crew was a well oiled machine and Matt was so focused, enthusiastic and committed that I could not have asked for a better team to helm this project. We have some beautiful footage and a wonderful story to show later in December.

Well, I am off to dinner then a haunted house. Take care and talk to ya soon.

FADE OUT.

Vancouver weather?

2009-03-11T21:31:00.001-07:00

FADE IN:

INT. KYLE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

I am sitting in my domicile; taking a break from dreaming up one-liners for my Two and a Half Men Spec Script to give a brief run down for the latest happenings:

I am hooked on Supernatural! Had this happened a few months ago, I would be writing a spec script for that show. The dramatic action style fits my writing to a T, and I have always been interest in the mystical, more archeological than demonic though.

I pitched my log lines last week: I will be writing a drama and a comedy, later in the term. I am stoked!

In animation class we are developing spec scripts for Kid vs. Kat (Tom and Jerry with a more violent edge) and one of our own ideas. Mine is called Treasure Hounds - it's about three adventurous canines who travel the globe recovering ancient relics of their world all while outrunning and outwitting the evil feline Lord Seamus and his vicious FANGS (an acronym for their motto: Feline Agents Never Grant Surrender). Think Indiana Jones meets Cats vs. Dogs in a Disney animated series similar to Kim Possible. I am working on the poster in my off hours.

Personally, it has been, go to school, go home and do home work and go to bed. I am looking forward to the snow melting so I can start hiking in the BC mountains. There are a few provincial parks in the area with trails that top out on the peaks with great views of the city and ocean.

That is about it. Not too exciting, but I am sure things will pick up. Until then take care and stay tuned.

FADE OUT:

What is the rule of three?

A: In screenwriting three is everywhere: Three act structure, three beats (main points) to a B plot, three beats to a supporting character's arc, three types of stories - Hero goes on a journey, stranger comes to town, and town is rocked by scandal - a love triangle between characters, Bang, Bang BOOM - for action. Three is the maximum number before people get annoyed or bored. The next television show or movie you watch, start counting, three is the magic number for a gag to play out, for the drama to be built up, for a secret to be revealed. Three never overstays it's welcome. Tune in and count. You might be surprised. I was.

Next post: Film Noir.

End of Term One

2009-02-28T20:58:00.000-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. KYLE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

I am kicking back listening to Free Bird celebrating the end of term one. On deck for next term are classes such as: TV SPEC II, Script Genre: Crime, Dialogue, Basic tools and the one I am really looking forward to: Writing for Animation. It looks like a light load, but the reason is I'll have more writing to do on my own. For TV Spec I am paired with the head of the writing department, Michael Baser, so I have to be on top of my game.

But this weekend I get to relax. I am finishing up Andrew Horton's Laughing Out Loud while reading Clive Cussler's Trojan Odyssey at the bus/train stops. I am also watching CW's Reaper (Simple yet funny), Supernatural (Action, horror and a muscle car - it is filmed in Vancouver), It's always Sunny in Philadelphia (crude and hilarious), Two and Half Men (the best one liners on TV), History Channel's City of the Underworld (A modern day Indiana Jones), and CBC's In Search Of Myths and Heroes (A modern day Alan Quartermain) I seem to always have more than one iron in the fire. Who wants to live a stress free life?

And as promised here is my latest writing project. A twenty line poem for style class:

TWO

Two single people

Two busy streets

Two curious glances

Two numbers exchanged

Two nights later

Two place settings

Two opera tickets

Two enchanted hours

Two stubborn opinions

Two hours shouting

Two heartfelt apologies

Two golden bands

Two-car garage

Two golden retrievers

Two boys and a girl

Two coffee mugs

Two rocking chairs

Two head stones

Side-by-side

Forever

Lately, I have been exploring Stanley Park, the pride of Vancouver. A thousand acre urban park, the largest city park in Canada and third in North America (it is 10% larger than Central Park). It is my escape. The towering cedars drown out the city noise so I can relax. There is a bench overlooking a secluded lake where I can sit, watch the ducks swim by and brainstorm until the sun goes down. A little slice of home in the urban jungle.

So until next time, take care an stay tuned...

FADE OUT:

Question of the Post:

What is the difference between Montage and Series of Shots?

Answer: They are similar because they are both multiple shots that progress the story. However, the difference is that a series of shot happens in one location, in or around the same time ala: a highlight reel (i.e. - Hoosiers: during the Championship game when Jimmy and the boys go on their scoring spree.) Montage is a cluster of shots in different locations, at different times all linked thematically ala: a tale of love (i.e. - Casablanca during Rick's flashback when he and Ilsa met in Paris.)

Next post: the rule of three.

Play time is over...

2009-02-18T20:18:00.000-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. KYLE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

My first term is winding down and I am gearing up to pitch three feature film ideas. I am thinking one sci-fi/horror (Project Skylight - about seven survivors of a plane crash who must escape an island overrun with genetically enhanced insects), one thriller (One More Run: about a desperate, blue collar man who - in order to fund his wife's chemo treatments - enters a vicious cannonball run sponsored by a scrupulous Russian Mobster) and one drama (either AM 1450 - about a African American radio host in 1960 - or Spokane Man - about an affable old man in a 1930's retirement home who convinces a young journalist to go on a cross country trip to Wyoming in search of a cache hidden by Butch Cassidy).

Earlier this week I pitched an episode idea for Two and a Half Men:

Alan starts dating a sexy yet pale model that Charlie, Jake, Evelyn and Berta all think is a vampire. She 'works' nights at a hospital, she dreads the sunlight, hates garlic, wears gold not silver, and is a history buff... because she lived it? They confront Alan at a Halloween party (where the woman dresses the part) but Alan gets defensive and to prove she is not a vampire, he plans to stay the night at her basement apartment. Meanwhile, in order to impress a woman, Charlie pretends to be an animal rescue volunteer and takes in a stray 'cat', which actually is a raccoon and is now loose in his Malibu pad. Left to his own devices, Alan ruins the relationship with the model in typical 'Alan fashion' while Charlie wins the heart of a woman for his valiant effort to rescue animals from the exterminator he called to eradicate the raccoon.

That was my one minute pitch. Now I have to make a beat sheet (shortened outline) for the episode. Laura Doyle is the instructor for the TV Spec class, she worked on Early Edition, which was one of my favorite shows growing up.

In the last week my class has studied such films & TV Series as the Graduate, Legally Blond, About a boy, My Girl Friday, Barton Fink, Fargo, House, Grey's Anatomy, Casablanca, Battlestar Galactica, and Curse of the Black Pearl. We break down three act structure, inciting incidents and character arcs. So awesome! Who knew, all those years I spent watching TV instead of doing my math would actually pay off:)

I also had to pitch a made up movie from a list of dummy log lines retrieved from a gag book. Here is what I ended up with: A NFL football player, realizes his passion for dance in a documentary narrated by James Earl Jones. So I pitched an hour long documentary called: Dancing with the Star Wars featuring Warren Sapp.

On a personal note, I started running again. There are a few parks around my neighborhood (one with a nice pond) that are a great escape from the black top and concrete. I can see the mountains from the Skytrain every morning, but it's not the same as Idaho.

So there are the happenings for the week. Take care and stay tuned...

FADE OUT:

Busy, busy, busy

2009-02-09T18:30:00.001-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. KYLE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

This week has been pretty intense. I wrote a poem, formatted a short story into a screenplay, read, rewrote and read some more, created a game show for my group's Working Girl presentation, had to pitch a movie I loathed (The new Dukes of Hazzard movie with Jessica Simpson and Willie Nelson) as if I loved it, and I finished a character analysis of my protagonist and antagonist for the first screenplay I get to pitch at the end of next week. The general consensus is to pitch a sci-fi or a drama. They say comedy is a tough sell and action adventure scripts are too high priced for Canadian production companies. And the 29's and 28's (those are the classes before me) said for your first feature you want to pick something that you are not emotionally attached to because it will be shredded in workshops for the next 8 weeks.

In my Biz Pitch class I am pitching a remake of an existing movie and a sequel to a movie that has never had one. For the remake I chose Arachnophobia, I think Jack Black would be a great for the John Goodman character. And I chose to do a sequel to the Tony Curtis, Marilyn Monroe, Jack Lemmon hit Some Like it Hot. I call it Some Like it Hotter:

Joe and Jerry's musical grand daughters - Michelle and Georgia - are on the run from a ruthless loan shark and have to dress as men and join a rock band on tour in Mexico to escape death. The girls simultaneously and covertly court the same man, the handsome yet emotionally distressed lead singer, Carl Jones. Soon Michelle finds herself living a duel existence pretending to be Michael, the drummer and Martina the Latin landowner in pursuit of Carl's real estate. Georgia also finds herself in the crosshairs of a rich music woman, Salena Perez who wants to make George (Georgia) the lead singer of her own nightclub band. But as soon as things start heating up romantically the loan shark and his goons close in. Michelle and Georgia must make a choice, cut bait or sleep with the fishes.

It's a new twist on an old story.

I found a basketball court out back in the alley to shoot on. However, after sinking a couple shots from outside something seemed fishy. So I walked up to the rim and raised my hand. Then I took a step back and dunked the ball. The rim is a little over 9' tall. Dang it. But the dunk made me feel good.

A couple of my classmates and I went to UBC (University of British Columbia) Thunderbirds basketball game on Saturday night. That was awesome! They are 21-2 and rocked VFU by 20+. Now I am jazzed for the NBA all star game coming up on the 14th-15th of this month.

And now I have to do a rewrite for my Jim Reaper script and break down the structure of Legally Blond between the 60-75 minute mark before tomorrow.

Until next post, take care and stay tuned...

FADE OUT:

Flu and the first assignment

2009-02-01T12:12:00.000-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. KYLE'S APARTMENT - DAY

I am in full on containment mode right now. It seems I have contracted the same flu bug that has ravaged the writing department for the last week and a half. So I have committed myself to lots of rest and fluids and am trying to stay awake for the big game today. Cavs vs. the Pistons. Lebron vs. AI. It's a rematch of the 2007 Eastern Conference finals. New faces, same old rivalry. It should be epic!

And I wanted to take the time to post my first assignment. There were only two minor changes my Style Instructor wanted to see: One stronger verb and one shortened sentence. The assignment was to create a story in three paragraphs using the traditional three act structure. We needed a clear protagonist, an antagonist, an inciting incident, an all is lost moment and some type of resolution. So here she is:

Ils ne passeront pas!

They will not pass!

2:24 p.m.

December 22, 1943

Ortona, Italy

Corporal Owen Dupree felt the burn in his chest before he heard the sharp staccato echo through the ruins of Ortona. He staggered, dark blood oozing through his Van Doo uniform. Lung shot. A second Herman bullet slammed into Dupree's shoulder and spun him around. He fell behind a crumbling church wall and landed beside a tear-streaked Italian woman. She trembled with fear. Her muddy loafer firmly committed to a German anti-personal land mine.

That however, was the second detail Dupree noticed. The first being her fruitful figure. He guessed she was six months along. Maybe seven. Bracing his back against the church wall, Dupree struggled to his feet. He knew what needed to be done. Bullets chewed through the bricks. He cringed and inched his boot closer to the mine. The Italian mother shook her head. Speaking swiftly, she waved her arms urging Dupree not to attempt it. He confidently slid his boot next to her, depressing the mine. She shivered and looked into his eyes for assurance. He nodded. She trembled, hesitating. Dupree squeezes her shoulder. Gentle, but firm. And with that, the mother closed her eyes and lifted her foot.

Nothing. The woman exuberantly kissed Dupree's cheek, a tearful thank you. Then she skirted the wall and slipped away. Dupree adjusted his stance as a German officer barked orders. Closer. Within striking distance. Dupree checked his magazine. Ils marcheront ici. Mais aucun plus. Ils ne passeront pas! With a breath of courage, Dupree spun around the wall and emptied his rifle. Five Nazi's fell to the ground. Dead. The remaining three leveled their Mausers. Dupree smirked, and then lifted his boot.

* * * * * * * * *

Ils marcheront ici. mais aucun plus. Ils ne passeront pas! - Evil will march here. But no further. They will not pass!

Here is a little history behind the story. Van Doo is a French Speaking arm of the Canadian Army founded in 1914 (originally called the 1st Canadian Division of the Canadian Expeditionary Force) to help the British in WWI. During the onset of the war, most of the battalions being formed were English speaking, and this was not an oversight for at that time Canada was in the process of forbidding teaching French in schools, which was outrage. In 1921, the battalion was called the 22nd Battalion and in 1928 the name was converted to French and deemed 'Royal 22e Battalion.' Since then they have bravely served in every war including a current tour in Afghanistan. Van Doo is a corruption of vingt-deux, French for 22.

The battle of Ortona was one of the bloodiest campaigns for the Canadian forces. In December 1943, the Highlanders (New Zealand's regiment) were outmanned and out gunned by the advancing German army. The Canadian forces arrived (including the Van Doo) and helped turn the tides. In bitter house to house fighting, and under constant threat of snipers, booby traps and land mines, the Canadian forces fought valiantly and helped push the Nazis out of town. Van Doo Captain Paul Triquet's leadership, epitomized by his battle cry "Ils ne passeront pas" They will not pass, earned him a Victoria Cross. The highest military decoration awarded for valor 'in the face of the enemy' to a member of the armed forced of British Provinces.

There's some exposition for you. Hope you enjoyed the story and stay tuned for more...

FADE OUT:

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

2009-01-27T19:37:00.000-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. KYLE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

I just got back from a meet and greet with other acting and film production students. It seems everyone wants to do comedy or horror, there is no real middle ground. But my phone is full of potential Horror actors and comedic directors, contacts that I will probably not use tomorrow, or next week but sometime during my career as a writer, I will call upon their talents. It's not only what you know, but who you know.

Let me catch you up on the week and weekend happening.

The stairwell pitch went well. We split up into our two production groups and spent a minute pitching to the opposite group. The other group critiqued our presentation and at the end of class they had the chance to option one of our pitches. They optioned Romancing the Stone, which is the one I pitched. So that was a nice confidence booster.

I know I said I would be posting one of my projects, but we are scheduled to workshop it this Friday. Hopefully, you will see it next week.

Over the course of the year, there are a number of 48 hour film shoots, where writing students can submit scripts and if they are good enough, they will be filmed by VFS students over a weekend. I will be teaming up with one of my classmates to write the short 'Roommates', which I pitched in my last blog.

I finally found a basketball crowd. There are four guys in class that play and we have set up times every Sunday - weather permitting - to play ball. It is a nice stress reliever.

Things are starting to ramp up! Tonight, I will be reviewing the script Planes, Trains and Automobiles, rehearsing another pitch, writing a twenty line poem, typing out a character study, and trying to keep one eye on the chicken in the frying pan.

Take care and stay tuned.

FADE OUT:

Stairwell pitch

2009-01-20T17:39:00.000-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. KYLE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

I am just sitting down with a warm bowl of Mac and Cheese and a log line for Romancing the Stone that needs to be rehearsed for my stairwell pitch tomorrow. Wednesday is going to be a huge day!

I pitch three original ideas (Roommates - a mocumentary about the perils of rooming with a polar opposite, Tag - an animated action piece about a rambunctious game of tag between a young boy and his pet Velociraptor and Couch Time - a comedy about the dynamically insane relationship between a therapist and her patient who thinks he is a super hero). That morning I turn in a critique of 'Some Like it Hot." Awesome movie if you have not seen it. Jack Lemmon, Marilyn Monroe and Tony Curtis. Quick, witty dialogue.

Then in the afternoon I pitch the 'Romancing the Stone' line while walking down a flight of stairs. Selling an idea is hard. Selling an idea, making eye contact while walking down a flight of stairs backwards... well, we'll see.

I met Tim Brown, President of Distribution of InSight productions in Vancouver. He gave a half hour talk about the business side of the movie market. Good thing I am passionate about writing and not in it for the money. He said if we have an idea, write up a one-page synopsis and send it to him directly. He reads everything himself, because InSight is small enough that he wants to help develop talent. He is friendly, approachable and down to earth kind of guy looking for action sci-fi scripts with female protagonists. And wouldn't you know it; I have one locked away in the vault. I'll let you know the response when I pitch it to him.

I have agreed to play street hockey this weekend. Should be an interesting experience. I have not attempted such a feat since we took an old chew can, wrapped it in electrical tape and kicked it around the icy basketball court in elementary school. Even then, my foot-eye coordination was not that grand.

Well I am off to rehearse my pitch. Take care and stay tuned...

FADE OUT:

It's all about story...

2009-01-13T19:19:00.000-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. KYLE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

So here is an interesting tid bit that was brought to my attention today. In feature films, actors and directors are in charge. Rightly so. However in television, writers are kings and queens. Directors come in for a few weeks at a time, film an episode and are gone. Actors and their characters could come and go also. But writers are the constant. They are the backbone of the series. Not exactly safe, but somewhat secure in their occupation.

I started out with the intention of writing for feature films, but television is getting more and more appealing all the time. I am scheduled to write a television spec. script later in the year. I have narrowed it down to Two and a Half Men, Grey's Anatomy or Chuck. I am leaning more toward Chuck. Hopefully it does not get cancelled.

I also have the option of writing my own pilot in September. I have a few ideas. One being Millwrights: a mocumentary about a group of eccentric and comical mill workers who have to put their difference aside and band together in order to keep a small North Idaho sawmill from foreclosing. It's the Office meets MASH, woodsman style.

I had a chance to chat with Michael Baser, head of the writing department this afternoon. He wrote for sitcoms such as Three's Company, 9 to 5, the Jefferson's, Full House etc... He is an amazing talent, who has spent more than 30 successful years in television. His advice: Solid story. Know the characters and structure, but have a solid story. For television it is all about story. Most of the characters in TV are catalyst characters, they may not change a whole lot from episode to episode (however they may bring about change in others) so focus on the story line and write it so it reveals a little more about the characters.

So spread the word. It's all about story. Well, I am logging out to finish my adaptation of Dashiell Hammett's Maltese Falcon. Take care,

FADE OUT:

P.S. Spec script is short for speculation script. It is a script written on the speculation that is will be sold. In other words it better be epic.

basketball and short films

2009-01-11T16:30:00.001-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. KYLE'S APARTMENT - DAY

I spent the morning scouring the local parks for a basketball court. The pickings are bleak. There is an elementary school close by with hoops, although I'll be waiting for the weekends to go shoot around. I really don't want to mimic Samuel L. Jackson in the comeback (2002). If you want a laugh check out: http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/67265/detail/

The above was one of the short films we previewed in Friday's class. We also watched two from Juno's Director Jason Reitman's earlier days

Gulp: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXnOMrGwjoo

and In God we Trust: http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/02/25/cool-stuff-jason-reitmans-short-film-in-god-we-trust/

Our class will be previewing short films for the next two weeks before we pen our own 5-9 page script. Feel free to recommend any short films you have found humorous or inspirational. I am looking to soak in as much as possible before I start writing.

I received my first assignment on Friday. Write a three paragraph short story (any subject) using proper three act structure. I chose to do a historical piece on the Van Doo: the French Canadian infantry regiment formed during the outset of WWI. I will be posting a polished draft later in the week.

Stay tuned and take care,

FADE OUT:

Characters & Greys...

2009-01-08T21:27:00.000-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. KYLE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

I am kicking back after the first official day of class. We studied different types of character's, specifically villains, because 'the better the villain, the better the film' (Hitchcock). And as a personal assignment I went through all my stories and identified the villains and their motives. Some are blah, while others... well they scare the crap out of me. Which is good. Those will be the stories that I'll be concentrating on this year.

And now it's 9:50 and I am watching Grey's Anatomy (my dramatic addiction) doing character studies. Not a huge day in terms of adventure, but progressive. And inspiring. I am devouring the story telling information and excited about applying it to my future cinematic projects.

See you all in the movies.

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VFS: Let the adventure begin...

2009-01-06T19:01:00.000-08:00

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INT. KYLE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

I am finishing up the book: Laughing Out Loud, by Andrew Horton. A slick intellectual read that dives into the world of comedy, many of his references are from France, Mexico and Slavic countries. But for the last hour I have been side tracked researching the legend of Atlantis. Everyone has their theory (Santorini, N. America, the depths of the Atlantic, Cuba - Yep Castro has been hiding Atlantis for years), however Jim Allen dug up some very compelling evidence that places Atlantis on the west side of South America. He compares the Poseidon legend with that of an Inca legend, which recounts the tale of Tunapa "god of the waterways," who is said to have destroyed the ancient city with violent quakes and a flood. Interesting.

The reason I bring this up is because I am scheduled to write two 110-page feature film screenplays and I wanted to base one on the legend of Atlantis. Here's the pitch: An adventure/comedy about an American Intelligence officer - Jackson McMillan - who is called to action when the villainous Sigma Corporation, headed by a rogue U.S. agent raids an Asian archaeological site plundering artifacts linked to the lost city of Atlantis. In order to thwart the Corps scheme, McMillan teams up with a goofy computer tech for a globe-trotting race through the hills of Ireland, the streets of Madrid, and the temples of India to a remote Caribbean Island where they discover an ancient, underwater necropolis harboring mystical powers that could destroy the world.

That's just one of the idea's swimming through my brain at the moment. My brain is like an onion, lots of layers:) That's for you Deano.

So far there is a really creative group of writers in my class from all over the world. They really have a drive to succeed. I already find myself feeding off their energy, kinda of like drafting when you run. And they all have innovative ideas and inspirations, which will be awesome to tap into throughout the year.

Well I have to get some sleep before copyright orientation tomorrow, followed by a 'Tech up' workshop. Take care.

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P.S. Sage advice 036: Just because the label is translated into French does not make it French bread. So put it back and get the cheap stuff.

Orientation Day

2009-01-02T13:16:00.000-08:00

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INT. VANCOUVER PUBLIC LIBRARY, 3RD FLOOR - DAY

I have a few minutes before I return for the International Student orientation. Sat through a highlight video of past students works. The bar is high, and there are some really talented students in my class. Out of 24, I am the third oldest. I never thought 26 was that old...

I get my ID card and schedule Monday, January 5th and for the first two months I go to school 4 days a week. Bonus. Finalized paper work for Canadian medical insurance: $54 a month. Double bonus. And snagged a few bottled waters on my way out the door. If they are free, grab three, especially water. Triple bonus.

Well off to one more orientation. Take care and keep it between the ditches this winter.

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New Years Day

2009-01-01T20:58:00.001-08:00

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INT. LITTLE STREET APARTMENT, VANCOUVER - NIGHT

Joseph Campbell is deep. Ocean deep. Cosmic deep. I am finishing Hero of a Thousand Faces and at times I feel as though I am drowning in his knowledge. Which is good. Because the fear of drowning begets the necessity to swim. So I glean a little today, apply it tomorrow, continue to tread, continue to breathe and soon I'll be swimming with the big fishes. Soon.

Orientation is tomorrow. 8:30 a.m. I have my map, my schedule, transit ticket and ambition. So in the words of the Joker, "Here... we... go..." Only time, persistence and fate will determine if I made the right move. And so begins act two...

FADE OUT:

Happy new year

2008-12-31T19:52:00.000-08:00

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INT. LITTLE STREET APARTMENT, VANCOUVER - NIGHT

On the eve of a new year I find myself hunkered down in my warm apartment surrounded by family. We (my dad, mom and little sister) spent the day navigating the transit system, plucking sea shells from English bay and poking fun at overweight pigeons in A&W. The Sky Train rocks, it ranks right up there with the London Tube.

Five years ago, living in a metropolitan melting pot would have sent a shiver down my spine. But now, I am loving it. The culture, the food, the diversity. Vancouver is a wonderful source of creativity. I hope to tap into that fountain. May it wash over the blank pages of my next screenplay:)

I wish you all a Happy New Year! May it be filled with inspiration and adventure.

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Vancouver BC

2008-12-29T19:23:00.000-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Ahh, Vancouver BC. The lights, the sirens, the SNOW! I thought I could out run it, or at least hide from it for a year, but I seem destined to reside in a winter wonderland. oh bien! The 6 a.m. morning report claimed the pass was clear sky and 20 degrees. The reality: slush, snow, rain, chains and slide offs. The blazer chewed through the snow, passing guard rails sprinkled with foreign bumpers and mangled rubber. Ten hours and a quick border crossing later I am relaxing in the city of opportunity listening to Jeopardy with my parents and little sister in a cramped hotel room debating on whether we want Chinese, Japanese, kebabs, Portuguese, Italian, etc... I want to try them all. And in time, I will. I have a year, one year to make the most of this wonderful opportunity, 365 days to broaden my horizons, 12 months to expand my network and 8,760 hours to write, write, write.

Seven days remaining. Seven days until a dream becomes a reality. Seven days...

FADE OUT:

Happy Holidays

2008-12-25T18:59:00.000-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. WARM HOME - NIGHT

Wishing you a warm and merry holiday season. May this post find you surrounded by friends, family and good food.

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Cold day for memories

2008-12-22T14:39:00.001-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. FRIGID STUDIO - DAY

In the twilight of my days at North Idaho College, I am spending the afternoon dubbing mathematics tapes in the old IMS studio. Tomorrow (Tuesday) will be my finale; the curtain call to a career that has allowed me to blossom creatively, socially and emotionally. As I stare out at NIC's snow covered terrain, I will always be grateful for the experiences I have enjoyed at this wonderful slice of Heaven.
The first person I met on campus was the energetic John Jensen. If not for him, I would have attended ITT. John gave me my first job as a sports specialist, keeping stats at NIC's sporting events. As I fumbled along, awkwardly adjusting to student life, I fell into a situation that would change my life forever.
Posted on the bulletin board was a colorful flier advertising a job opening for camera operators. I stripped the flier from the wall and tracked the room number to a dark alcove in Boswell Hall. A door sign read: Welcome, come on in. I never hesitated.
Eight years later, I am crossing that same threshold. Walking out Instructional Media Services' door. A door that helped inspire this new adventure.
My first job at IMS was washing windows. Soon I found myself working my way through the Public Forum ranks. In eight years, I went from camera op, to graphics and audio op, to technical director and spent 52 shows sitting in the director's chair. A close knit team comprised of a Tech guru, a stallion videographer, AV angels, a slew of eager part time students teamed with a Human Rights minded host and panelists, we brought quality, educational programing to the inland northwest and Canada.
I am forever grateful for that wonderful, educational experience. It was an ego-less environment. A place to learn, grow, mature, succeed. Now I am taking those lessons and skills with me to a foreign land.
I got my start at NIC. I will always remember and appreciate the time that I spent here. The lasting friendships that I have made here. Trust me, I will remember...

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Act 1

2008-12-19T10:13:00.000-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. WARM HOUSE - DAY

I finally finished shoveling snow this morning. Current measurement: 25 inches. Awesome. I will be spending the rest of the afternoon reading Hero of a Thousand Faces and packing for my sojourn back to Bonners to spend Christmas with my family before charting a course to the salty shores of Vancouver.

Hope everyone is warm and safe this blustery winter day.

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A new beginning...

2008-12-17T11:47:00.000-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. CUBICLE - DAY

As my time at North Idaho College comes to a close, I am spending the morning archiving past projects, writing how-to instructions for my replacement and taking life one snow flake at a time. It has been a wonderful opening act of my life, starring an ensemble cast of creative and talented co-stars. People who took me under their wings, boosted my confidence and encouraged my budding talent.

From working behind the scenes on the Public Forum show and Channel 19's Coffee with the Mayor to creating western themed posters for the Library. From Nursing graduation videos to Outdoor Pursuit calendars to fiesta, and sporting event posters. I have been blessed with the opportunity to share my artistic abilities with a very appreciative audience.

And no matter how far I travel, or what I end up achieving, my heart, my soul and my love resides here in the Inland Northwest. Here with my friends. Here with my family. Here is where my home is.

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